The Power of Positive Strength

 

A much-anticipated makeover from the good folks at Essa Salon for my wonderful friend.

This is a strong beautiful woman at the end of a difficult fight with cancer. She is an example of what strength, dignity and the power of positive thinking looks like. She is my friend and my inspiration. Today and everyday I celebrate the power of strong beautiful women. It’s just a day in the life of many women I am blessed to know and love.

 

Until We Meet Again

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Another one of my loved ones has left this world. My sweet, kind, wonderful aunt passed away in her sleep last month. I have so many amazing memories with her. She was my fathers younger sister and she was so much more than an aunt to me. She was my friend, my confidant, someone I have always leaned on for advice. She gave me unconditional love and support. We spoke weekly and spent much of our summers together. She will forever be in my heart.

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Death never gets easier and it never stops. I’ve lost so many of my loved ones already. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, young cousins. It’s heart wrenching. It’s especially painful when you come from such a close knit family.  One day my parents will leave. So many of my friends and family members have already experienced the loss of a parent. My cousins lost their father almost five years ago to cancer and now their beautiful mother has left them.  How does one survive? It’s a question I ask myself over and over again. It’s not something I want to think about until I have to. The pain I experience now losing my aunt so suddenly is deep and leaves me broken. I know I have to cherish her memory and move forward with life.  I will never forget her or stop loving her. I will forever miss her physical presence in my life. I would like to think that she is in a better place and that one day we will meet again.

What happens to us when we leave this earth is a mystery. If only we had a crystal ball to show us where we go. It would make it easier. For me death is the ultimate experience of this life, and the beginning experience of another.  Every death in my family feels like a break in our family chain, nothing seems the same but as we leave this earth one by one I know that links will join again.

In the meantime, I am grateful for the love we shared. I have a child to love and raise and many other loved ones to cherish.

I will honor my aunt by remembering all the times we shared and living my life fully.

 

Double Digits!

 

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My little girl is has officially entered double digits. I can’t believe she is ten years old! Since I’ve had my daughter I have made the choice of being a stay at home mother. I feel blessed to be able to be there for my child. I am able to be at every important function and witness every phase. I was there for her first word, the first time she took her first step and many other firsts. My husband on the other hand has missed many of her important firsts. That is the sacrifice he has made in order to have a parent always present for our child. I’m beyond grateful for that.

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We live in a beautiful neighborhood in a modest house. We take fewer vacations than we would if we were both working. I miss my career as a journalist but not enough to go back to work. Working full-time would not allow me to be as fully present as I am with my daughter. It’s a choice we are lucky to be able to make. I respect everyone’s choices, be it to stay at home or be a working parent. Whatever brings balance in our lives is what should be done. I have yet to be fully balanced but I’m working on it and this blog is just one way to help bring me balance. I still get to write, express my feelings and share what I have learned. My hopes are that my journey can be of help to someone else going through the ups and downs of life.

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To be a parent is a privilege. We are blessed to have our children. They are given to us by God to care for and raise to hopefully be adults that will contribute positively to the world.

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I know that my husband and I are so grateful to have such a kind, smart, funny, articulate and compassionate little girl. She is creative, artistic and most importantly she has a heart of gold. She is blessed to have a wonderful extended family of grandparents, aunts and uncles who contribute into forming her character and self-esteem.

She has given us a decade of bliss. We live each day, moment by moment taking in all the beauty of her childhood. I hope we can make her as happy as she has made us. We look forward to many more years of growth and learning together.

We love you Sophia. Happy Birthday!

FALLING

This is a painting I recently created. It’s a replica of a picture I found on Pinterest. I usually like to create art I can connect to emotionally. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I often talk before I think and feel both love and pain with deep intensity. When I love, I love deeply. When I lose someone I love I literally fall apart. I am loyal to a fault. It may seem like a good character trait to have but it can sometimes backfire.

The painting depicts both the way I felt while I was painting it and the way that I feel today. It’s a feeling of falling, gently shifting into another phase of my life. Sometimes I am in control, feeling peaceful and quiet with my thoughts and my surroundings. Being in the now and appreciating all that I have. Sometimes it’s a feeling of losing control and direction .Feeling lost and alone. Mostly it makes me feel as if I’m floating into where I am supposed to go. Letting go of what I cannot control and being at peace with life.

How does it make you feel when you look at it?

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