Shenpa is Tibetan and it defines obsessive feelings and urges you just can’t seem to release. Feelings like resentment, failure, anger or urges like addiction and cravings. Tibetan Buddhist, Pena Chodron, says that’s how we get taken over by a negative experience. A death of a family member takes me directly to Shenpa. I feel sad, so sad that I can think or feel nothing else.
The Tibetan Buddhist says that the best thing to do when we feel that way is to remove ourselves from the situation. Give ourselves some space. Take a walk and just be aware of what you are saying to yourself. Notice your thinking and come back to just being present. Keep on doing that and you will learn to live in the present more often.
Chodron says the negative feelings are really our ego. Once you realize that it’s your ego you can notice it, allow yourself to have the discomfort of suffering, then let it go allowing evolution to happen.
Change is inevitable, if we don’t learn to embrace it our life will be an unhappy one. I’ve always battled change. When I was little I didn’t want to grow up, I hated it when we moved and I had to change schools. I always fought it and even though I was always able to find my footing, I just hated change and I still do .Losing someone I love is the biggest and most painful change for me to endure. I now know that I have to learn to embrace change, be open to what God has in store for me.
In a blink of an eye our lives can change and it will continue to change for decades to come. We have to focus on the now. To enjoy it, embrace it and be grateful for the ride. Easier said then done for some but all we can do is try, otherwise happiness will elude us.
Ten years ago I became a first time mom. That’s when I realized just how much my mother loved me. The emotion I had for my little girl is indescribable. It’s a love I had never imagined. It’s sacred, eternal and beyond measure. I had always celebrated mother’s day with so much love for my mother but becoming a mother changed the way I saw her completely.
I realized just how much time, sacrifice and effort it took her to raise my siblings and I. She was and will always be my champion, my cheerleader and my best friend. Who I am today is all due to her love, strength and dedication. Thank you mom for all your love and patience. I can never repay you. The only thing I can do is honor, respect and love you. Loving you is so easy. You are the best mother in the entire world. If you are lucky you have a mom like mine. I’ve also been blessed to have aunts that are like my mother. They cheer for me when I succeed and are by my side when I need them.
I lost one of my them only a few weeks ago and it has changed Mother’s day for me. It’s changed everything for me. Yet even in death she has taught me a lesson. I have learned to keep my family tight and always show love, kindness and patience in life. It’s the first mother’s day without her for her children and I. It’s painful to celebrate this day if you have lost your mother. All we can do is celebrate their life, hold their memories close and learn to be someone they can be proud of. As I get older I realize just how short life is and how important it is to love and cherish our loved ones. We won’t have them forever so don’t waste time. Share your feelings, give your time and live every day as if it’s your last day on earth. Never take them for granted.
I love and cherish my mother. I am blessed to have her every day. I feel privileged to be the mother of my little girl and I’m thankful for my mother who is and will forever be my role model. I hope that I am half the mother to my child that she has been to me.
I love you mom and I miss you amma but you will forever be in my heart.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful moms and to my family and friends who are without their mother I send my prayers and love. I hope your memories bring you peace.