Without my mother

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you amazing, selfless, strong mothers. You have the privilege to help shape and mold the next generation. Let them to be kind, compassionate, productive, loving human beings.

Mother’s Day was my absolute favorite holiday to spoil my mom.

In the past I’ve written her poems, painted a portrait for her, dedicated songs, expressed my love in heartfelt cards, flowers and gifts. She reveled in all the attention and love she received from her children and grandchildren. I loved seeing her happy. She was our best friend. She was the most magical beautiful soul. She left this world almost four and a half years ago, just four months after we lost our dad. I miss them both so immensely that the grief I feel no longer exists in the same space with my other emotions. Instead, it has carved out its own singular realm and like breathing—it is ever-present and subconscious.

My mother, a woman from a prominent family in Afghanistan was slight, but her frame belied her strength and resilience. She was the Matriarch of our family, a proud Afghan and woman of deep faith who always put her family first. She was a stylish, regal, worldly, educated, kind and a lifelong feminist. She was able to have conversations with world leaders and the guy next-door just as easily and as eloquently. She made everyone feel special and valued. She was always impeccable with both her manners, and the way she presented herself . She always dressed, wearing heels, jewelry and makeup, with a few spritzes of her signature perfume, Chanel No. 5.

On the first Mother’s Day after she died, I walked into an elevator in Nordstrom, a store we frequented together, to find an elegantly dressed older woman wearing my mom’s signature perfume. It made me flinch inside. As soon as the doors of the elevator slid open, I ran out, gulping mouthfuls of air and letting out a jagged cry. I just wanted my mother.

I’ve inherited some of my mom’s beautiful jewelry and have kept a few articles of her clothing. Every few months, I sit on the floor surrounded by her things and I carefully select a box to open. I choose just one, because I ration the sweet lingering perfume trapped inside them. I put my nose inside the container and take a long whiff before I quickly close it again. For a few minutes, I am dazed and shot full of adoration—and although my chest feels hollowed out, it is still too small to contain all my emotions.

Since their passing, I have felt as if a thick, warm coat that kept me insulated against the harshness of the outside world has been pulled off with one swift motion. I am exposed to life’s elements. Still, I am learning to wrap myself in every detail, smell, and color of those happy memories until the harshness relents just a little and I am warmed by the rich fragrance of Channel No. 5.

I miss you mom, I carry you within my heart always and I see you within your grandchildren .

Do this, be happy.

We are all living life, trying to find a balance and searching for happiness. Here are some things I’ve learned to do in order to be happy.

  1. Make the best of everything. Whatever happens in life, it could be worse. So make the best of it.
  2. Love yourself. Sometimes we are so busy taking care of others that we forget about ourselves. You need to be full in order to take care of your loved ones.
  3. Put your electronics away. You need to take a break from all the distractions. You are more likely to find your happy place when you are focused.
  4. Live in the now. Yesterday’s a memory, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. Which is why it’s called the present.
  5. Faith. I have gone through so many ups and downs in my life, just like all of you, my faith has carried me through my toughest times. I’m thankful that I believe in a higher power.
  6. Help others. Do something every day to help someone else. It doesn’t have to be big, even a smile is an act of charity, you never know how it may impact someone’s day.
  7. Be grateful. Practicing gratitude will help you see all that you have, instead of focusing on what you don’t have.
  8. Meditate. Take a few minutes every day to sit in quiet contemplation . There are so many guided meditation apps that will make it easy to do. Meditation allows you to clear your mind and relieves stress.
  9. Diet & Exercise. Eating clean and moving your body is healthy for both your body and your mind. Having a healthy diet will give you more energy and exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good.
  10. Find a creative outlet. Do something that you are passionate about, or learn something new. It keeps you balanced.
  11. Surround yourself with positive people. It’s much easier to be happy with people who see the glass half full. And no negative talk, that means no negative self talk either.
  12. Set goals. Having goals helps you grow and learn and it keeps you on your toes.
  13. Travel. When you travel you learn so much about people and cultures. Travel allows you to see that we are more alike than we are different.
  14. Create a community. Keep in touch with your family, aunts, uncles, cousins. Most of my cousins are my best friends. They are a link to your history. Cherish your friends, especially your long friendships, those die hard, steadfast friends are keepers! I’m so blessed to have both old and new friends that I adore. Relationships take communication, time and love. I hope you have people in your life that think you are worthy of their time, because you deserve it.

I wish you happiness.

Thirteen

This is a letter to my daughter,

I can’t believe that you are a teenager! Although I do see some major eye rolling and a lot more time away from the “mommy” you used to be glued to, you’re still the beautiful, loveable you! You will always be our baby.

I want you to know that the day you were born was the most magical day of our lives. God blessed us with the most amazing little girl in the world. You are the most precious gift we have ever received.

You changed our lives forever. You are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. You are an old soul, wise beyond your years. You fill our hearts and our lives with so much love and purpose. I know that whatever you do in life will positively impact the world. Your beautiful heart is filled with love, kindness and compassion. The love and loyalty you have for your family members and your friends always amazes me. We are so privileged to have you as our daughter. While we help shape the person you will become as an adult you have helped us to grow and learn as well. I know you will teach us a lot more as you continue to grow into the beautiful woman you will soon become. Know that love and the bond you shared with your grandparents will sustain you for life. You will always have them watching over you. They were so proud of you just as we are. I know that you will continue to make us proud.

We love you Sophia and wish you the happiest of birthdays. Welcome to your teen years, they go fast, so learn, live well, make the right decisions and always know that your family will be here for you. Remember, God and family first, always, that’s the legacy that is left for you by your grandparents.

Love, Mommy

I love this manifesto on parenting by Brene Brown and thought that I would share it with you all.

If you want to download the parenting Manifesto..click on this link. Wholehearted_ParentingManifesto (5

And if you want to shop for some pretty gorgeous little girl clothes make sure to visit http://www.ariaandsophia.com

Friendtastic

When was the last time you went out with a group of your girlfriends? If you have to stop and think about it, it’s been way too long.  A new study by a group of researchers from the University of Oxford, recommends that you go out with your girlfriends at least twice a week.

I’ve always been a girls girl. I love my time with my friends and I cherish my friendships. Those relationships are so important to me, I don’t think that I can live happily without them. I love talking to my girlfriends, listening to them and just connecting with them in general. It’s nice to be able to pick up the phone and share your life with someone who cares, it’s even better to see them in person. It always leaves me feeling happier.

According to the study, spending two days a week with four of your gal pals will help you recover quicker from illness, strengthen your immune system, and decrease anxiety levels. But, when the group is bigger than 5 people, funny situations that generate the necessary endorphins for happiness and well being are less probable.” says one expert. That’s why it’s recommended to meet in a group of maximum four friends.

Research shows that we women need to maintain our friendships because it increases serotonin and oxytocin. Having these close connections becomes even more important as we age. I know that whenever I go out with my friends, I always feel amazing! And a happier me means that I’m a better mom, better wife, just better overall.

So pick up your phone, call your girlfriends and plan your outing, remember, it’s good for you!

 

Essential Oils

Do you have a child that suffers from constant ear infections? Before it gets really bad try treating it holistically.
.I’ve been using essential oils to keep my family healthy for years. It has made a world of difference in our lives.


Here is what you do for children suffering with ear discomfort….

.INGREDIENTS

  • 1 drop Lavender
  • 1 drop Frankincense
  • 1 drop Tea Tree
  • 1 tablespoon carrier oil
  • Cotton Ball
DIRECTIONS
  1. In a small dish, combine the essential oils with the carrier oil. Saturate the cotton ball with the mixture.
  2. Rub essential oils around the ear and down the neck, them put the cotton ball right on the outside of your ear.
  3. Refresh the cotton ball every 30 minutes until the pain subsides and then every 4 hours for the next two days.

For Babies and Toddlers…

MASSAGE BLEND

  • 20 drops Tea Tree
  • 20 drops Thyme linalol
  • 20 drops Lavender
  • Carrier oil, warmed
  1. Combine tea tree, thyme, and lavender in a small stock bottle.
  2. To use, place a teaspoon of carrier in a small dish and add 4 drops of the blend.
  3. Massage around the ear, on the cheek, and down the neck.
  4. Follow with a warm compress.

For adults…

This blend can help to support a healthy immune response.

  • 10 drops oregano
  • 10 drops clove
  • 10 drops rosemary
  • 10 drops lemon
  • Carrier oil
  1. Place oregano, clove, rosemary and lemon in a 2 ounce stock bottle. Fill with carrier oil.
  2. Shake well to combine.
  3. Place 5 drops on the bottom of the feet ever 30 minutes until pain subsides.

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DISCLAIMER: While I do believe that natural remedies are a sage and effective way to deal with minor ear pain, it’s important that you seek medical attention should your ear ache persist. Use the holistic alternatives when you feel discomfort, if there is no improvement within a day and if the pain is acute, please seek medical attention.
These remedies have worked for my family but should not be taken as medical advice.

Winter Break

East Coast parents are getting ready to have the kids home for their winter break. While, some of us are lucky enough to take a few days away with the kids, others may have to work or just can’t afford to get away.

Here are some fun things I’ve done with my daughter when we have stayed home. It’s not so bad when you live just a few minutes away from New York City.

  • Spend a day or two in New York City, visit a Museum, see a Broadway Show or just go out for a great meal. God knows we have some of the best restaurants in the country. There are also so many amazing Museums in the city, there is so much culture and history. 
  • The Long Island Children’s Museum is such a great place to spend the day with the family. If you want to stay local, there’s a lot to see and do there. I’ve spent an entire day at the Museum with my daughter when she was younger..
  • Take your child to see a show at the John W. Engeman Theatre in Northport.  It’s Long Island’s only year-round professional theater, and you don’t have to pay a fortune to enjoy a great show with some great seats.
  • Take a family hike. it’s gorgeous on the North Shore, and it’s not too cold this year so get out and enjoy it.
  • Plan a special day with the kids. Go out to lunch, maybe it’s a good time to introduce your child to something new on the menu and then go see a movie together.
  • Take a road trip. Go anywhere, as long as you’ve never been there before, or go somewhere you always like to visit. We love going to the Mohonk Mountain House, a beautiful resort in Hudson Valley. We gone there for over twenty years.
  • Discover the neighborhoods nearby. You never know what little gem you are going to stumble upon, I’ve found lots of great places just by exploring.
  • Get out and meet up with a few of your mom friends and their kids. This is a great way for both you and your children to enjoy the day.
  • Give your kids time to do absolutely nothing. Catch up on what you have been postponing to do and just let your kids have a lazy day or two, they need a break.
  • Host a sleepover. it’s always a great time for the kids. All you need is some pizza, a bunch of board games, a karaoke machine and it’s on. Adult supervision is a must.
  • Spend quality time with your kids.  If you are working, try to take a few days off to enjoy your children. Talk to them about how they are feeling, let them ask you questions, listen to them, be present, be mindful.

Regardless of whether or not you are going away or staying home, a week with your children is a treasure. Before you know it they will grow up and we won’t have the privilege of having them with us for an entire week. There is no doubt that raising children is hard work, but it’s the biggest gift that we can ever have. So, enjoy your week together. And don’t forget to check out my new store for something beautiful for your favorite girl.

 /https://ariaandsophia.com/

 

 

Entrepreneur, ugh!

I’m venturing into uncharted territory. I’m about to become an Entrepreneur! This adds nicely to my many other supposed titles, writer, producer, reporter, blogger, wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt and friend.

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We all have so many different titles, but who are we really? Ever think of that? Ever ponder why you are here? What are you meant to do? What is your function in all of this dysfunction? Well, I don’t know, I’m doing the same thing that you are doing, searching. I’m always looking for the meaning of life. I grew up with parents who always told me that life was all about helping others. Family has always been my priority and helping others has also always been the core of my parent’s existence. So yes, I am jumping in to this new title but it does not define who I am. I am a human being who is having many experiences and evolving.

 

Back to my new title, simply defined, an entrepreneur is a person who identifies a need and starts a business to fill that void. But this definition doesn’t really give you insight into what really makes a successful Entrepreneur. Here’s what 20 company founders and business leaders told Business News Daily about what they think makes a truly successful entrepreneur.

  1. To be courageous and sometimes reckless to actually do it, check!
  2. To be constantly hungry,  the idea that you are never satisfied with how things are, check!
  3. To have a mindset, a way of thinking and acting. It is about recognizing an opportunity and capturing its value, check!
  4. To balance vision with a willingness to embrace change, that’s my weak point, but I’m working on it.
  5. To go into uncharted territory and to be able to deal with the roller coaster of emotions that comes with failing, this one is really hard but I’m ready to conquer it.

I can go on and on but here is the shortcut of it, in order to be a successful entrepreneur you have to:

  • make a passion of learning,
  • to have courage and perseverance,
  • to stay optimistic when things fall apart.
  • be people oriented,
  • to see opportunity everywhere,
  • to take calculated risks,
  • to look at the bigger picture,
  • to have the creativity to question, the strength to believe and the courage to move,
  • be wired to be driven by an innate need to create, build and grow,
  • to push the naysayers aside, and turn possibility into a reality,
  • to be able to take the bumps in the road and remain focused

That said, being an entrepreneur means being in full control of your destiny. If that’s something that is meaningful to you then all of the challenges associated with striking out on one’s own are worth it. And, this one is something that’s important to me. You need to be supportive of other women who are venturing out to do what you are doing. As women, we need to be supportive of one another. That’s what I teach my daughter, to be happy when her friends succeed and be supportive.

I’m focusing on my dream, I have many things on the burner, but this one is ready to happen. I have an online children’s store opening on Monday.  It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for about 10 years, since my little girl was two. Now she is 12, about to turn 13 in three months…better late than never.

My store,  Aria & Sophia is named after my daughter Sophia and my niece Aria, the two girls who own my heart. The desire to open a store that reflects my style has been something that my daughter Sophia has inspired.

Aria & Sophia will launch tomorrow. I would love to know what you think. Feel free to shop for the little one’s in your life,.

Stay tuned….www.ariaandsophia.com debuting on Monday, January 21st.

Aria and Sophia 2

Essential Oils, “The Bomb”

It’s the time of year where most of us are run down and sick. I’ve committed myself to sharing what I know about essential oil remedies. So here is what I give my family when any of us are under the weather. I use a blend of essential oils that we call “The bomb”.

It’s a combination of various essential oils that help boost the immune system. I use Doterra’s On Guard, Frankincense, Lemon, Oregano and Melaleuca essential oils. I’ve researched Doterra and I love their essential oils. You can use it two ways, either ingest it by putting two drops of each oil in a gel capsule, this is something I recommend for adults only. Make sure you eat something fatty when you ingest the oil. You can eat some eggs, yogurt, something fatty to dilute it. Take the gel capsule three or four times a day and within two days you will feel better.

For children and my husband who refuses to ingest the oils, I put 6 drops of each oil in a roller bottle and I add fractionated coconut oil to the rest of the bottle. I role it on feet, back of the neck, and down the spine.

For babies and toddlers, use 2 drops of each oil and fill the rest of the bottle with a carrier oil like fractionated coconut oil, roll it on the bottoms of the feet, in the back of the neck and down the spine every couple of hours.

You can buy both the gel caps and roller bottles from amazon.

Try it, you’ll love it.

Bringing smiles to children of war

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I would like to tell you about my friend David Mason and his amazing plight to bring smiles to the faces of innocent children. He has dedicated his life to helping children of War.

Unfortunately, right now, while our kids are safe and thriving, there are millions of children around the world suffering. This is happening right now, in our lifetime. Those of us who are parents can imagine the horrors that these innocent children have face. Think of what they feel and how they are able to survive.

I met David in 2003, when I was on a trip to Afghanistan, my parents homeland. I had not been there since before the war, so I was vey young. My family was in the US, when Afghanistan was invaded by Russia. My father was a diplomat in the United Nations and so, the trip in 2003, was my first time back “home”.

It was an emotional trip. Before our plane even descended, the landscape of the country took my breath away and took me back in time. Seeing the majestic mountains ignited a rush of  bitter-sweet memories.

 

My cousin Wais introduced me to David, a Danish-Iranian, in his early 30’s who had left his comfortable life in Denmark to help the Afghan children. He was inspired after 9-11. He wanted to do something good, for the most innocent of us, for our children. According to David, my cousin kind of adopted him and his dream of what is now the Afghan Mobile Mini-Circus for Children (MMCC). 

 

David, is the founder, MMCC, an educational non-profit that uses circus activities to educate and empower kids. The program also manages to bring smiles to the faces of Afghanistan’s children and promote peace in the war-torn country.

At MMCC’s flagship school in Kabul, Afghanistan, 120 children ages ten to 17, learn juggling, unicycling, acrobatics, theater, singing, puppetry and magic tricks. They then perform and conduct workshops across the country, spreading awareness about health, land mines, the importance of education, and other issues along the way.

 Most of the circus activities are led by the kids themselves.

This wonderful human being continues to spread joy and awareness with the Afghan Mobile Mini-Circus for Children (MMCC) for all these years. 

 

Now they are looking to raise money to transform the harsh winter of 900 underprivileged Afghan Children into a cheerful one. By donating, you will help ensure that the children will be safe and secure from the cold and bitterness of winter, while learning English, Computer, various Artistic, physical, Social and Life Skills while having fun.

Please take some time to log onto their site and give what you can. 

46% of the funds for Cheerful Afghan Winter for 900 underprivileged is raised, Thanks and keep Donating and Sharing please: www.globalgiving.org/projects/Cheerful-Af

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