Surprise your grief is still here
On April 4th my little girl turned 9. I can’t believe just how fast time went. It feels like she was just born yesterday. I remember the exact moment I laid eyes on her beautiful face. The feeling that came over me was one that is indescribable, but I’ll try. I felt as if my heart was going to come out of my body. I couldn’t believe she was ours. A symbol of the love I shared with my husband. She was now our entire world. All I was focused on were her big dark eyes and pouty pink lips…and just how little and delicate she was. She was like a perfect little doll.
It amazed me how her birth had changed our lives forever. I remember my best friend had sent me a card before I had her. In the card she had written something like get ready for your life to turn upside down and for your heart to burst open with love. Her description of how it was going to be from now on was perfect. It’s exactly what had happened. Her birth changed us from being a couple, to being parents. We would never sleep soundly again!
I wondered how we were going to take care of her and keep her safe. I’ve continued to wonder about that every day since I’ve had her. I’ve focused on keeping her healthy, only giving her foods that are organic and fresh. I had played classical music the entire time I was pregnant and I continued that tradition during her infancy. I sang to her all the time, still do but now she asks me to PLEASE STOP! I tried to teach her everything I can since the very beginning. I took her to “Mommy and Me” music classes beginning at 3 months of age. Thank Goodness for those classes and “Not Just Art” a place in Oyster Bay that provides the class. It helped keep me sane for the first few years of being a parent. I met some of my dearest mommy friends there. Liz, Lisa, Maria, Christine, Dina, so many great women that have traveled the crazy road of motherhood with me. I cherish them and their friendship. In fact, I’ve met a lot of amazing women because of my daughter, Jaime, Amy, Kerri, Tatiana, Francesca, Sine, Sue, there are so many more I’ve not mentioned but they all help me in my journey as a mother. We learn from one another, we give support to each other but most importantly we try to be the best parents we can be for our children. I hope I always have these amazing women in my life.
Since Sophia’s birth, I’ve tried my best to be a good parent. I’ve worried about giving her too much, or too little. I worry about her being an only child, I try to surround her with positive friends so she is not too lonely. Her friends are little girls that are kind, considerate, inclusive people. I’ve done my best to help her bond with her cousins by spending ample time together. I’ve tried to instill in her the importance of family and being there for each other, always having one another’s best interest in heart.
She has great relationships with her grandparents, aunts, uncles a plenty. So much love. We are very blessed to have such wonderful family and friends. In the end, that is the most important thing to give our children, our love.
I hope be a good influence to my daughter and lead her into the path meant for her and share all that I learn to help others raising children. After all, we all want the best for our little ones.