Without my mother

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you amazing, selfless, strong mothers. You have the privilege to help shape and mold the next generation. Let them to be kind, compassionate, productive, loving human beings.

Mother’s Day was my absolute favorite holiday to spoil my mom.

In the past I’ve written her poems, painted a portrait for her, dedicated songs, expressed my love in heartfelt cards, flowers and gifts. She reveled in all the attention and love she received from her children and grandchildren. I loved seeing her happy. She was our best friend. She was the most magical beautiful soul. She left this world almost four and a half years ago, just four months after we lost our dad. I miss them both so immensely that the grief I feel no longer exists in the same space with my other emotions. Instead, it has carved out its own singular realm and like breathing—it is ever-present and subconscious.

My mother, a woman from a prominent family in Afghanistan was slight, but her frame belied her strength and resilience. She was the Matriarch of our family, a proud Afghan and woman of deep faith who always put her family first. She was a stylish, regal, worldly, educated, kind and a lifelong feminist. She was able to have conversations with world leaders and the guy next-door just as easily and as eloquently. She made everyone feel special and valued. She was always impeccable with both her manners, and the way she presented herself . She always dressed, wearing heels, jewelry and makeup, with a few spritzes of her signature perfume, Chanel No. 5.

On the first Mother’s Day after she died, I walked into an elevator in Nordstrom, a store we frequented together, to find an elegantly dressed older woman wearing my mom’s signature perfume. It made me flinch inside. As soon as the doors of the elevator slid open, I ran out, gulping mouthfuls of air and letting out a jagged cry. I just wanted my mother.

I’ve inherited some of my mom’s beautiful jewelry and have kept a few articles of her clothing. Every few months, I sit on the floor surrounded by her things and I carefully select a box to open. I choose just one, because I ration the sweet lingering perfume trapped inside them. I put my nose inside the container and take a long whiff before I quickly close it again. For a few minutes, I am dazed and shot full of adoration—and although my chest feels hollowed out, it is still too small to contain all my emotions.

Since their passing, I have felt as if a thick, warm coat that kept me insulated against the harshness of the outside world has been pulled off with one swift motion. I am exposed to life’s elements. Still, I am learning to wrap myself in every detail, smell, and color of those happy memories until the harshness relents just a little and I am warmed by the rich fragrance of Channel No. 5.

I miss you mom, I carry you within my heart always and I see you within your grandchildren .

Essential Oils, “The Bomb”

It’s the time of year where most of us are run down and sick. I’ve committed myself to sharing what I know about essential oil remedies. So here is what I give my family when any of us are under the weather. I use a blend of essential oils that we call “The bomb”.

It’s a combination of various essential oils that help boost the immune system. I use Doterra’s On Guard, Frankincense, Lemon, Oregano and Melaleuca essential oils. I’ve researched Doterra and I love their essential oils. You can use it two ways, either ingest it by putting two drops of each oil in a gel capsule, this is something I recommend for adults only. Make sure you eat something fatty when you ingest the oil. You can eat some eggs, yogurt, something fatty to dilute it. Take the gel capsule three or four times a day and within two days you will feel better.

For children and my husband who refuses to ingest the oils, I put 6 drops of each oil in a roller bottle and I add fractionated coconut oil to the rest of the bottle. I role it on feet, back of the neck, and down the spine.

For babies and toddlers, use 2 drops of each oil and fill the rest of the bottle with a carrier oil like fractionated coconut oil, roll it on the bottoms of the feet, in the back of the neck and down the spine every couple of hours.

You can buy both the gel caps and roller bottles from amazon.

Try it, you’ll love it.

Girl Power

They are the apple of our eye, our sweet little girls. My child and most of her friends have now reached double digits. They are no longer little girls, soon they will blossom into lovely young ladies.IMG_8228It’s our job to empower them to grow up feeling secure in themselves. Powerful girls learn to take action, making positive choices about their own lives and doing positive things for others. Here are some ways that many parenting experts say will help us raise powerful girls….IMG_8267_peEncourage her to pursue a passion.IMG_8263Let her have a voice in making decisions.IMG_8302Let her solve issues on her own rather than fixing things for her.IMG_8353Encourage her to go beyond her comfort zone, to take physical risksIMG_8374_peEncourage your daughter to participate in team-building activities or join organizations that rely on teamwork.

Be honest with her.IMG_8524 Give her time to just play!

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Having close friends that are like-minded and most importantly kind is an important part of her growing up. Help them foster positive, loving relationships. IMG_8578_peLet her know you love her because of who she is, not because of what she weighs or how she looks.

IMG_8283.Allow her to disagree.IMG_8621_peMake time to listen to her on a regular basis.IMG_8402Listen more, talk less.IMG_8231Limit your daughter’s exposure to the media and popular culture.IMG_8635_peTalk with her about her body and sex in ways appropriate to her age and your values. Yes, it’s really time to do that!IMG_8334_peKeep her active.

Be the person you want her to be. Love yourself so that she can love herself too.IMG_8242Help foster and flourish her relationships with a powerful women in your family, like an aunt or grandmother.IMG_8277_peMost importantly, don’t forget to stop and really enjoy this special time with them. Enjoy them!