Just a blonde and a brunette, creating memories, having fun and standing by one another as they grow. Life is so much sweeter when you have a best friend to love and be loved by. Here’s hoping my little girl and her bestie will always cherish one another through thick and thin.
Raising children is difficult in general but I think it’s especially hard to raise little girls. My daughter is nine and I’m already trying to prepare myself for her to enter the tween and teen years. It can be frightening because as parents, we want to protect our children but the reality is, there is only so much we can do. So, I have put together a few things I think would be helpful to mothers of little girls.
My daughter really loves playing dress up like most girls. Since she was three years old, she has always loved high heels and make-up. In time, lessons will have to be taught on applying less but for now, it’s just for fun. She notices that I dress modestly. I think it will influence the way she chooses to dress in the future.
It’s my job to be open about my body and what’s going to change with her body. She needs to be comfortable talking to me about everything.
That’s why even though my daughter hates it, no makeup when we go out, only appropriate clothes and no high heels. Yes, they make high heels for little girls! No inappropriate jewelry and NO cell phone yet. It’s my job to set boundaries.
A girl’s father is one of the most influential people in her life. They have a big impact on their daughter’s development to grow into a strong, confident woman. He helps shape her self-esteem, self-image, confidence and opinions of men. The type of men that women get involved with are directly related to the kind of relationship a girl has with her father.
You will become their example for how women should view their bodies. I have to admit I have made some major mistakes when it comes to negative talk about my body. Children hear and see everything. I now try NOT to speak negatively about my weight in front of my daughter. At 9 years old, she is already aware of body size and worries about it. I try to emphasize that she should stay healthy by eating clean and keeping active.
My daughter is super sweet and sensitive but she is also a people pleaser. I want her to grow up to be a strong woman. She knows that my husband and I will always have her back but we also want her to learn to stand up for herself.
My daughter always hears about how lovely she is from us all but that’s not the only thing we focus on. Little girls need to know that there is more to their self-worth than beauty. We make sure to focus on our daughters other attributes, like her intelligence, talent and her kind nature. Things that won’t fade with time.
Our children learn from what we do more than what we say. So, if you are strong and demand being treated well, there is a better chance she will grow up and do the same.
Set the example that what you love to do is important so she will believe in her own dreams and passions. It’s why I share with my daughter my blogging goals and achievements, so she can know that I have goals and things I do that I work hard to be proud of.
I always speak to my daughter about the importance of trusting her instincts and gut feelings. It’s never too early to speak about relationships. I talk to her about how important it is to marry someone who will respect her and treat her well, just like her dad treats me.
These are just some things I think will help other moms raising girls. As mothers, we all need extra support and guidance from each other, especially those that have been doing it longer. Please feel free to express your opinions and share your experiences. I know I am always looking to grow and become a better mother.
I love taking pictures of beauty and innocence. I’ve captured some lovely moments with the children in my life. With a blink of an eye they grow and move on to make a path of their own in the world. This poem expresses what it means to have these little gems in our lives for a beautiful yet brief time.
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children.”
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. -Khalil Gibran
Sonia Singh is an artist, illustrator and scientist in Tasmania. She’s also a woman who is doing something that may change the way little girls see themselves. When Singh was a child she says her mother didn’t let her play with Barbie dolls because of their curvy shapes and overt makeup. She says now she can understand that those are some things that can affect the way young girls perceive themselves.
Our daughters are influenced by celebrities, models and dolls like Barbie. With these unrealistic expectations projected onto them, how are they supposed to feel when they look in the mirror? Looking at Barbie with her unrealistic body and the Bratz dolls with all their overly done made-up faces and inappropriate clothing, you have to wonder if the girls who play with them, believe that is what they are SUPPOSED to look like.
I love that Singh navigated the world of hyper-sexualized dolls and decided to turn them into something that resembles what a little girl really looks like. She recycled, then repaired old dolls to resemble a child.
She uses nail polish remover and erases away their overly done made-up faces. She then uses her artistic skills to make them under with new age appropriate styles.
It gives the dolls a new lease on life and gives young girls something that they can identify with.
I love her idea and her dolls! The recycled dolls are beautiful and ready for little imaginations to take them for an adventure. They are gorgeous dolls that I hope will take flight with mainstream doll manufacturers.
My daughter Sophia thinks the new look is pretty and natural….”just like all my friends” she says. The overly made-up dolls looked scary to her. That’s my girl! See what your daughters say about the make-under look.
You can support Sonia Singh and her work by going to the Tree Change Dolls etsy shop and ordering a set of greeting cards or limited edition prints that features her original photos of some of first Tree Change Dolls. Every month she lists a Tree Change Doll on Ebay with most of the proceeds going to charity.
Want to give your child’s dolls a make-under? If you’re interested Singh has created some DIY videos to show you how. I know I’m going to give it a try.
– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqiNDsTcknk – – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bduNyTTIvF4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqYp7XTQNu4
There are some days when I question if I’m living the life I’m supposed to live. I wonder if I’m doing enough. Should I be going back to work? Does that allow me to be the kind of mother I want to be? Why is it that some women are perfectly comfortable balancing work and motherhood and some are not? There are also some who are not lucky enough to have a choice and they have to work.
I am grateful to be able to stay home with my child but sometimes I have a sense of unease. I feel like I’ve got to do more, to be more. Recently many in my family and some friends have suggested that I get back to work, but at this stage of my life, I’m not really interested in doing something just to work. I want to do something that adds meaning and value to my life. Having an extra income would be an added bonus but it’s got to be worth my time and energy away from my family.
Why can’t I have a career and be a mother? I have so many friends who do both beautifully. I have really been looking into the meaning of my life. What is it that I want in life? Is it wealth, fame, acknowledgement and success? How does one define success? For some it’s what they do. For others it’s what they have. I know I have what’s always been important to me. I have a loving family and I am fortunate enough to have a handful of true friends that have stuck with me through thick and thin. Along the way I have lost people who were not supposed to be in my life anymore. In the end, the health and happiness of those I love is all that matters to me and yet there is still something within me that feels unfulfilled.
I think that feeling of wanting to do more helps push me to look for what I’m supposed to do. I think it’s telling me that there is more for me to accomplish. It compels me to continue to strive and move forward.
I often think that there has to be a reason for our existence. I think we are all here in the world to fulfill our purpose. To find it we must get closer to our essence. Part of our essence is giving. We have to look at something larger than ourselves. For me, it’s connecting with God. I’ve blogged about my grateful practice many times. It’s one of the best ways to connect with my source. The more I connect with a higher power the more I learn to let go and let God lead me to where I’m supposed to go.
I’ll leave you with a quote from Marcus Aurelius, the Emperor of Rome.
“Life is shaped from the inside out. Everything is turned to ones advantage when you greet everything that happens in life as something positive. No experience goes wasted. Everything that happens in life is the right material to bring about your growth and the growth around you. Everything contains some special purpose and a hidden blessing. All of life is here to greet you like an old and faithful friend.”
