Allowing Room for Growth


My little girl is growing up…fast. Recently my nine-year old decided that she has outgrown her room. She said, Mommy, I’m not a baby anymore and my room looks like a baby room! I want something more grown up.” She said she wanted her lavender room painted black and white, most of  her dolls put away except the ones she has gotten each year for her birthday and she wanted her fairy theme gone!


Forget the fact that I spent months painting her a picture of fairies just so it would fit her fairy theme. Now I was going to have to take that down…so she can have a Paris theme along with a picture of Audrey Hepburn somewhere in her room.

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Your probably wondering how a nine-year old knows who Audrey Hepburn is. Well, a lot of older people have commented that she reminds them of the iconic actress. She looked her up and decided she loved her! The girl has great taste!


My husband and I considered her request for a new room,  mourned the fact that our baby is now a big girl and decided to go for it! It’s a new year and a perfect time for a new start even if it’s a difficult change to face.

My daughter is at an age that is the start of the “tween years.” At nine, she’s no longer a baby but not yet a teenager. It’s a pretty confusing time for her. She is becoming very independent and is starting to want privileges that comes with being a teenager but she isn’t yet ready for them. She’s more interested in cell phones than toys. She would rather go to the movies with her friends than the playground.

Her desire to have more responsibility often leads to conflict between us. She has become more argumentative and tends to beg and whine when we tell her that she can’t have something. But she won’t ever behave that way in front of other people…just at home.

She has a good handle on her anger and her friendships are very important to her. She is very aware of  other people’s feelings and is able to empathize with other people’s feelings.

I’m also very aware that she naturally has the desire to fit in with peers at this age.  That’s why the choices she makes in friends are important because her peers can be very influential.

I’ve always involved her in positive activities in order to help her find her interests and talents. And disciplining her means balancing freedom with guidance. She needs our support to ensure that she’s making healthy decisions but she also needs to have opportunities to try things on her own. So we let her have her way when it came to the décor of her room.


My husband was really great about painting her room. He painted one wall black and white, while the rest of the room was painted all white. My talented friend Sine helped me decorate the room and add some extra parts in the wardrobe my husband put together in her room.  We got an amazingly unique, yet girlish white and black curtains, and little bits of Paris and Hepburn throughout the room. We found a great little chandelier fan in pink…the only color we were allowed to use. We also put up a few positive affirmations throughout her room.IMG_0186IMG_0197IMG_0187IMG_0185

I already know that the next few years of her life, we will deal with a lot of ups and downs. I’m hoping that with open minds and a lot of communication we will be able to make it past the hurdles.

In the meantime, the change she wanted in her room gives her the ability to express herself and feel in control. Hope she sticks with this theme until her teenage years.


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