Another one of my loved ones has left this world. My sweet, kind, wonderful aunt passed away in her sleep last month. I have so many amazing memories with her. She was my fathers younger sister and she was so much more than an aunt to me. She was my friend, my confidant, someone I have always leaned on for advice. She gave me unconditional love and support. We spoke weekly and spent much of our summers together. She will forever be in my heart.

Death never gets easier and it never stops. I’ve lost so many of my loved ones already. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, young cousins. It’s heart wrenching. It’s especially painful when you come from such a close knit family.  One day my parents will leave. So many of my friends and family members have already experienced the loss of a parent. My cousins lost their father almost five years ago to cancer and now their beautiful mother has left them.  How does one survive? It’s a question I ask myself over and over again. It’s not something I want to think about until I have to. The pain I experience now losing my aunt so suddenly is deep and leaves me broken. I know I have to cherish her memory and move forward with life.  I will never forget her or stop loving her. I will forever miss her physical presence in my life. I would like to think that she is in a better place and that one day we will meet again.

What happens to us when we leave this earth is a mystery. If only we had a crystal ball to show us where we go. It would make it easier. For me death is the ultimate experience of this life, and the beginning experience of another.  Every death in my family feels like a break in our family chain, nothing seems the same but as we leave this earth one by one I know that links will join again.

In the meantime, I am grateful for the love we shared. I have a child to love and raise and many other loved ones to cherish.

I will honor my aunt by remembering all the times we shared and living my life fully.