Style & Serenity

Double Digits!

April 4th, 2016

My little girl is has officially entered double digits. I can’t believe she is ten years old! Since I’ve had my daughter I have made the choice of being a stay at home mother. I feel blessed to be able to be there for my child. I am able to be at every important function and witness every phase. I was there for her first word, the first time she took her first step and many other firsts. My husband on the other hand has missed many of her important firsts. That is the sacrifice he has made in order to have a parent always present for our child. I’m beyond grateful for that.

We live in a beautiful neighborhood in a modest house. We take fewer vacations than we would if we were both working. I miss my career as a journalist but not enough to go back to work. Working full-time would not allow me to be as fully present as I am with my daughter. It’s a choice we are lucky to be able to make. I respect everyone’s choices, be it to stay at home or be a working parent. Whatever brings balance in our lives is what should be done. I have yet to be fully balanced but I’m working on it and this blog is just one way to help bring me balance. I still get to write, express my feelings and share what I have learned. My hopes are that my journey can be of help to someone else going through the ups and downs of life.

To be a parent is a privilege. We are blessed to have our children. They are given to us by God to care for and raise to hopefully be adults that will contribute positively to the world.

I know that my husband and I are so grateful to have such a kind, smart, funny, articulate and compassionate little girl. She is creative, artistic and most importantly she has a heart of gold. She is blessed to have a wonderful extended family of grandparents, aunts and uncles who contribute into forming her character and self-esteem.

She has given us a decade of bliss. We live each day, moment by moment taking in all the beauty of her childhood. I hope we can make her as happy as she has made us. We look forward to many more years of growth and learning together.

We love you Sophia. Happy Birthday!

FALLING

April 1st, 2016

This is a painting I recently created. It’s a replica of a picture I found on Pinterest. I usually like to create art I can connect to emotionally. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I often talk before I think and feel both love and pain with deep intensity. When I love, I love deeply. When I lose someone I love I literally fall apart. I am loyal to a fault. It may seem like a good character trait to have but it can sometimes backfire.

The painting depicts both the way I felt while I was painting it and the way that I feel today. It’s a feeling of falling, gently shifting into another phase of my life. Sometimes I am in control, feeling peaceful and quiet with my thoughts and my surroundings. Being in the now and appreciating all that I have. Sometimes it’s a feeling of losing control and direction .Feeling lost and alone. Mostly it makes me feel as if I’m floating into where I am supposed to go. Letting go of what I cannot control and being at peace with life.

How does it make you feel when you look at it?

Everyday Is Valentine’s Day

February 14th, 2016

I love holidays, any reason to get together with loved ones makes me happy but celebrating Valentine’s Day can be tricky. For single people, it can bring attention to the fact that they are without a partner. For couples, the pressure is on to show their love for one another. I personally don’t think we should reserve flowers, hearts and love notes for one day of the year. Instead, I think we should show our affection and love for people that we love every day.

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I used to always leave my husband little notes everywhere. Bringing flowers home just because you thought of your loved one is a nice way to show your appreciation. Being considerate, kind and loving every day would also be ideal.

We all have days when we are tired or busy and inattentive but carving some time to just show you care is important in a relationship romantic or otherwise. I think the best thing we can do as couples is to have one on one time every once in a while. Once a week would be wonderful, but if that’s not possible then once a month would be great too.

My best friend and I would send cards and flowers to each other on Valentine’s Day. For the first time, my little girl and her bestie exchanged cards and little tokens of love. They always connect and let each other know how important they are to one other. Valentine’s Day was just a bonus for them.

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You don’t have to buy flowers or big gifts to show your love and it doesn’t even have to be romantic. You can look at this day as just another day to express your appreciation for your parents, siblings, husband, wife, children or friends.

With this in mind, I thought I would share some meaningful ways to celebrate your Valentine.

Write a Love Note

Putting your feelings down on paper is one of the most long lasting and appreciated things you can do for someone. The note doesn’t have to be long — it just has to come from your heart.

Express Words of Gratitude

We all need to hear how much we are appreciated more often. I encourage you to thank the ones you love on a daily basis. Whether it’s that they ran an errand for you, picked up their socks, helped you with a project, or just have faithfully stood by your side through thick and thin. You never know how much a word of thanks can make someone’s day.

Praise character that you appreciate instead of just saying thank you for actions done. Tell your Valentine how much you admire their patience, their kindness, or their amazing ability.

I have my nine year old and her best friend write five things they love about one another every week. I then have them put it in a special box. When they are feeling down about themselves they can open the box and see all the great things they see in one another. I think it’s a great way for kids to learn to love the great qualities that their friend see in them.

Do Something Nice

Do something that you know your Valentine will love. You know them best, so if your partner loves a certain dish make it and make it often. If they appreciate that you show up to meet him or her for lunch in the middle of the week, do it. Buy some flowers if you know that it will make them happy.

Speak Their Love Language

Everyone has a unique LOVE LANGUAGE. It’s the way they feel loved most. If you aren’t familiar with the 5 love languages, they are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Some people can be a mix of a few of these, but you’ll almost always have one that is dominant. If you aren’t sure what your love language is, you can take a quiz at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ just click on profiles and then love.

Once you know what someone else’s love language is, it will help you understand what matters to them the most. My dominant love language is Quality Time. It means that it’s important to me that my partner spends one on one time with me without any distractions. My second dominant love language is Receiving Gifts. What can I say, I really like getting gifts.

I hope you appreciate the gifts of love you have in your life. Just look around you and express your gratitude.

It’s in your hands…

January 20th, 2016

You have to decide whether you are going to be the leader in your own life or an extra in somebody else’s life. Take charge. Make a conscious effort to change what you don’t like about your life. Be grateful for what you do have.

Sit in contemplation everyday and meditate about what will bring you happiness. Then take the first step to make it better. It’s not easy or simple but it’s a good place to start, one step at a time.

If you want to get in better shape…take the first step by eating better and moving your body..

If you want to improve your marriage…take the first step by having an open dialogue, spending time together or even seeing a marriage counselor… take a step to change it for the better.

If you are feeling a void in your life, you have to first find out what it is that you are missing. Take the steps it takes to look within yourself. Once you find out what it is then you can move forward.

One step at a time…to a better life.

Allowing Room for Growth

January 2nd, 2016

My little girl is growing up…fast. Recently my nine-year old decided that she has outgrown her room. She said, Mommy, I’m not a baby anymore and my room looks like a baby room! I want something more grown up.” She said she wanted her lavender room painted black and white, most of her dolls put away except the ones she has gotten each year for her birthday and she wanted her fairy theme gone!

Forget the fact that I spent months painting her a picture of fairies just so it would fit her fairy theme. Now I was going to have to take that down…so she can have a Paris theme along with a picture of Audrey Hepburn somewhere in her room.

Your probably wondering how a nine-year old knows who Audrey Hepburn is. Well, a lot of older people have commented that she reminds them of the iconic actress. She looked her up and decided she loved her! The girl has great taste!

My husband and I considered her request for a new room, mourned the fact that our baby is now a big girl and decided to go for it! It’s a new year and a perfect time for a new start even if it’s a difficult change to face.

My daughter is at an age that is the start of the “tween years.” At nine, she’s no longer a baby but not yet a teenager. It’s a pretty confusing time for her. She is becoming very independent and is starting to want privileges that comes with being a teenager but she isn’t yet ready for them. She’s more interested in cell phones than toys. She would rather go to the movies with her friends than the playground.

Her desire to have more responsibility often leads to conflict between us. She has become more argumentative and tends to beg and whine when we tell her that she can’t have something. But she won’t ever behave that way in front of other people…just at home.

She has a good handle on her anger and her friendships are very important to her. She is very aware of other people’s feelings and is able to empathize with other people’s feelings.

I’m also very aware that she naturally has the desire to fit in with peers at this age. That’s why the choices she makes in friends are important because her peers can be very influential.

I’ve always involved her in positive activities in order to help her find her interests and talents. And disciplining her means balancing freedom with guidance. She needs our support to ensure that she’s making healthy decisions but she also needs to have opportunities to try things on her own. So we let her have her way when it came to the décor of her room.

My husband was really great about painting her room. He painted one wall black and white, while the rest of the room was painted all white. My talented friend Sine helped me decorate the room and add some extra parts in the wardrobe my husband put together in her room. We got an amazingly unique, yet girlish white and black curtains, and little bits of Paris and Hepburn throughout the room. We found a great little chandelier fan in pink…the only color we were allowed to use. We also put up a few positive affirmations throughout her room.

I already know that the next few years of her life, we will deal with a lot of ups and downs. I’m hoping that with open minds and a lot of communication we will be able to make it past the hurdles.

In the meantime, the change she wanted in her room gives her the ability to express herself and feel in control. Hope she sticks with this theme until her teenage years.

Double Digits!

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FALLING

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Everyday Is Valentine’s Day

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It’s in your hands…

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Allowing Room for Growth

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