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  • SHENPA

    May 30th, 2016

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    Shenpa is Tibetan and it defines obsessive feelings and urges you just can’t seem to release. Feelings like resentment, failure, anger or urges like addiction and cravings. Tibetan Buddhist, Pena Chodron, says that’s how we get taken over by a negative experience. A death of a family member takes me directly to Shenpa. I feel sad, so sad that I can think or feel nothing else.

    The Tibetan Buddhist says that the best thing to do when we feel that way is to remove ourselves from the situation. Give ourselves some space. Take a walk and just be aware of what you are saying to yourself. Notice your thinking and come back to just being present. Keep on doing that and you will learn to live in the present more often.

    Chodron says the negative feelings are really our ego. Once you realize that it’s your ego you can notice it, allow yourself to have the discomfort of suffering, then let it go allowing evolution to happen.

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    Change is inevitable, if we don’t learn to embrace it our life will be an unhappy one. I’ve always battled change. When I was little I didn’t want to grow up, I hated it when we moved and I had to change schools. I always fought it and even though I was always able to find my footing, I just hated change and I still do .Losing someone I love is the biggest and most painful change for me to endure. I now know that I have to learn to embrace change, be open to what God has in store for me.

    In a blink of an eye our lives can change and it will continue to change for decades to come. We have to focus on the now. To enjoy it, embrace it and be grateful for the ride. Easier said then done for some but all we can do is try, otherwise happiness will elude us.

     

     

     

     

     

     

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  • Mother’s Day

    May 8th, 2016

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    Ten years ago I became a first time mom. That’s when I realized just how much my mother loved me. The emotion I had for my little girl is indescribable. It’s a love I had never imagined. It’s sacred, eternal and beyond measure. I had always celebrated mother’s day with so much love for my mother but becoming a mother changed the way I saw her completely.

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    I realized just how much time, sacrifice and effort it took her to raise my siblings and I. She was and will always be my champion, my cheerleader and my best friend.  Who I am today is all due to her love, strength and dedication. Thank you mom for all your love and patience. I can never repay you. The only thing I can do is honor, respect and love you. Loving you is so easy. You are the best mother in the entire world. If you are lucky you have a mom like mine. I’ve also been blessed to have aunts that are like my mother. They cheer for me when I succeed and are by my side when I need them.

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    I lost one of my them only a few weeks ago and it has changed Mother’s day for me. It’s changed everything for me. Yet even in death she has taught me a lesson. I have learned to keep my family tight and always show love, kindness and patience in life. It’s the first mother’s day without her for her children and I. It’s painful to celebrate this day if you have lost your mother. All we can do is celebrate their life, hold their memories close and learn to be someone they can be proud of. As I get older I realize just how short life is and how important it is to love and cherish our loved ones. We won’t have them forever so don’t waste time. Share your feelings, give your time and live every day as if it’s your last day on earth. Never take them for granted.

    I love and cherish my mother. I am blessed to have her every day.  I feel privileged to be the mother of my little girl and I’m thankful for my mother who is and will forever be my role model. I hope that I am half the mother to my child that she has been to me.

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    I love you mom and I miss you amma but you will forever be in my heart.

    Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful moms and to my family and friends who are without their mother I send my prayers and love. I hope your memories bring you peace.

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  • Little things

    April 27th, 2016
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  • The Power of Positive Strength

    April 23rd, 2016

     

    A much-anticipated makeover from the good folks at Essa Salon for my wonderful friend.

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    This is a strong beautiful woman at the end of a difficult fight with cancer. She is an example of what strength, dignity and the power of positive thinking looks like. She is my friend and my inspiration. Today and everyday I celebrate the power of strong beautiful women. It’s just a day in the life of many women I am blessed to know and love.

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  • Until We Meet Again

    April 23rd, 2016

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    Another one of my loved ones has left this world. My sweet, kind, wonderful aunt passed away in her sleep last month. I have so many amazing memories with her. She was my fathers younger sister and she was so much more than an aunt to me. She was my friend, my confidant, someone I have always leaned on for advice. She gave me unconditional love and support. We spoke weekly and spent much of our summers together. She will forever be in my heart.

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    Death never gets easier and it never stops. I’ve lost so many of my loved ones already. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, young cousins. It’s heart wrenching. It’s especially painful when you come from such a close knit family.  One day my parents will leave. So many of my friends and family members have already experienced the loss of a parent. My cousins lost their father almost five years ago to cancer and now their beautiful mother has left them.  How does one survive? It’s a question I ask myself over and over again. It’s not something I want to think about until I have to. The pain I experience now losing my aunt so suddenly is deep and leaves me broken. I know I have to cherish her memory and move forward with life.  I will never forget her or stop loving her. I will forever miss her physical presence in my life. I would like to think that she is in a better place and that one day we will meet again.

    What happens to us when we leave this earth is a mystery. If only we had a crystal ball to show us where we go. It would make it easier. For me death is the ultimate experience of this life, and the beginning experience of another.  Every death in my family feels like a break in our family chain, nothing seems the same but as we leave this earth one by one I know that links will join again.

    In the meantime, I am grateful for the love we shared. I have a child to love and raise and many other loved ones to cherish.

    I will honor my aunt by remembering all the times we shared and living my life fully.

     

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