Style & Serenity

The Art of Gratitude

November 27th, 2015

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It’s a great time to really focus on being with family and counting our blessings. Being thankful has become a daily practice for me and has lifted my life in so many ways.

I woke up the morning of thanksgiving feeling grateful for the people in my life. I felt the need to reach out and send messages to friends who bring love and happiness into my life. I wanted them to know just how much they mean to me. I tend to do this often because I think it’s important to tell the ones we love how we feel about them. I then started cleaning my house, preparing for our thanksgiving feast. My husband always does the cooking. This year my 9-year-old prepared dessert all by herself. Her Chocolate lava cakes were delicious. Again, I felt thankful to have such a great human being as my husband and such a wonderful daughter. I also felt thankful to have my parents, my aunt, one of my siblings and my cousin come by to share our thanksgiving meal. I thought about my loved ones who are no longer in this world. I thanked God for the ones who are still with me. I choose to focus on what or who I have.

I choose to live a life of gratitude. That means I want to experience life to the fullest. I’ve learned that it’s important to live my life being grateful for what I have. It’s a choice I make which in turn brings me to a place of peacefulness and happiness.

So how do I do it? It’s not easy but it’s pretty straight forward.

I take part in activities that bring me joy.
I read inspirational articles and sit in contemplation every day.
I spend time with people I love who want to spend time with me.
I stay away from negative people. They bring me down and spread negative energy.
I just focus on what I have, not what I don’t have..

Being thankful for what you have is one of the simplest and easiest ways to lift your mood. To give your motivation a jolt and to live a happier life. No matter who you are, where you live in the world or if today is Thanksgiving or just a Thursday in your life. Ask yourself these two questions..

What are 3 things I can be thankful for in my life today?
Who are 3 people I can be thankful to have in my life and why?

If you don’t come up with 3 people and 3 things each day then that is OK. One thing or person is great too. But if you can, try to not repeat yourself too often. Instead, think of more people and things to be grateful for, day by day, expand your thankful view of your world.

Express your thankfulness to the people who matter to you. This will make their lives happier. And as their faces light up with a smile you’ll feel happier too. Look towards yourself too. You are important and valuable, appreciate that. Ask yourself what are 3 things I can be thankful for about myself? It could be that you were a good friend and impacted someone else’s life. You helped bring a smile to your mother’s face or gave a much-needed hug to your sister.

Be thankful for the things you may take for granted. Like a roof over your head and a warm home. The fact that you don’t have to go hungry. And that you have loving family members and wonderful friends. Start or end your day with thankfulness. Make it a habit that sticks, find a regular time for it in your day.

For me, writing down what I am grateful day each day helps me continue to be thankful. It just takes a small commitment to see the positive impact on your life.

I’m thankful that you have spent time reading my blog. I hope it helps you become more grateful for all that you have.

How to get yourself out of a funk

November 15th, 2015

We all have times when we get into a funk and feel sad. Now that the weather has changed I already feel a change in my mood. It’s a bit chilly but that doesn’t really bother me. What really gets me is how quickly it becomes dark. For the past fifteen years I’ve had an issue with getting enough sleep. It started when I was working the morning shift at News 12. I was unable to sleep until about 10 or 11 pm and I had to be at work by 3am which meant I had to wake up at 2am! This gave me about two or three hours to sleep.

After ending a decade of working the morning shift I still have trouble getting enough sleep. I fall asleep at around 2am and wake up exhausted at 7. Five hours of sleep has really affected me and I realize that this has to change. That’s one way that I can help myself feel more healthy both physically and mentally. Yet, it continues to be an uphill battle.

To feel emotionally well we have to balance everything in life. Here are some things that help me.

Get at least 8 hours of sleep (I’m working on this.)
Eat more nutritiously, eliminate all processed foods and sugar.
Make time to focus on yourself, read, spend time alone doing something you enjoy.
Acknowledge negative emotions but then release them.
Journal every day. The idea is that you write freehand first thing in the morning every day for about 20 minutes. It doesn’t matter what you write, just put down whatever comes to your mind. This has an incredibly clarifying and freeing effect.
Create something. Using the artistic/ intuitive parts of your brain can help you bring an understanding to the parts of your life that you can’t logically understand.
Spend your energy in a positive way. Work on a project you’ve been meaning to finish, clean out your closet. Getting rid of clutter can help you shift your own energy
Try getting a massage every month or as much as you can. It can be extremely helpful as you navigate life changes and difficult situations. Releasing tensions in your body helps in also letting go of tensions and anxieties in your mind.
Learn to meditate. It’s an amazing mind-body exercise to help you release stress and restore internal balance.
Give to others. When you begin to feel sorry for yourself, make a point of doing something kind for someone else. This will take your mind off of your own issues and open the world up to you just a bit.
Keep a gratitude journal, it can rewire your brain for happiness when you focus on what you have to be grateful about.
Get outside for some fresh air and a walk in nature. This really helps bring you closer to your source.
Play, yes I said play. Take time to just have fun with your children, do cartwheels, or watch funny movies. Laugh, do whatever activity that makes you happy.

Having periods of happiness and unhappiness is a part of life. Know that it’s normal and everyone goes through it at some point. Know that it’s a normal part of life. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s important to have times of reflection to make the changes you need to progress in life. Give yourself plenty of grace, and reach out and ask for help when you need it. Don’t just suffer in silence, do something to help yourself out of the funk. If you find yourself feeling down for long periods of time it’s a good idea to reach out to a professional for help.

I hope these tips help you keep your life happy and balanced. How do you keep the blues at bay in your life? Please don’t hesitate to share.

Family Fall Fun

October 25th, 2015

Message to my daughter

October 24th, 2015

Last year we bought our nine-year old something she had been wanting for a long time. Our daughter really loves to write. She is very creative and imaginative. She likes to make up stories and write songs. We wanted to support her love of writing so we bought her an inexpensive no frills laptop.

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Sophia also loves to write and receive emails from family. She is only allowed to communicate with her family. It gives her a chance to keep in touch with her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Sometimes she will email my husband and I little notes of how much she loves us. I in return like to email her things I want her to know. Things she normally will not pay attention to in person. I noticed she really reads and re-reads her emails. So recently I put down a few things that I have learned though out my life. I feel it will help her during her journey as she transitions from childhood to adolescence and into adulthood.

Here it is….

Everyone has a story. You are the writer of your own story.

Learn from every experience. If you make a mistake, try not to repeat it.

Believe in yourself.

Love yourself.

Respect yourself and others.

Every single thing that has happened in your life is preparing you for the journey to come.

Caring, compassionate, loving….describes you my sweet girl.

Don’t pretend to be what you are not, be proud of who you are.

God talks to us all the time, first in a whisper, if you don’t pay attention…the whisper will get louder and louder. Make sure you are listening to what God is telling you.

We are more than what we appear to be.

Life is all about growing into your best self.

Your thoughts create your life. Be careful what you think. Always say “I can do it” to yourself. Never doubt yourself. You can do it and you will do it.

God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can ever dream for yourself. Surrender to God and just believe and then let it go.

Your intention is everything. Please always have powerful intentions.

You and you alone have control of yourself. Do your best everyday, always.

Serve others, this will bring you happiness.

Be kind and compassionate.

Be loyal.

Be a good friend.

You are not alone.

You are the possibility of what can be. Everything you want to be is possible. Just believe in God.

Spend time with your loved ones. Love is everything.

Stay true to your calling. You will know what that is if you pay attention.

Everything that you put out into the world is going to come back to you.

There is an energy flow in life. You are either in flow or out of it. Try to be in flow. Be balanced in your life.

Be connected to God, always

Everything passes in its time. Only the soul remains.

Find out what your purpose is in this life that has been gifted to you.

Always know that you are loved.

I love you.

Mommy

Braving Through Broken Bones

October 17th, 2015

Being a parent is the most important job I’ve ever held. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s the most difficult job on earth and the most rewarding. What has really surprised me during the nine years I have become a mother is how much I have learned from my child. She has an amazing old soul and a heart of gold. Her compassion and love of family is something we have in common. The strength that she possess is one the I marvel at.

“She is an amazing little girl.” That is something I’ve heard from so many people who encounter my daughter. Recently these exact words was uttered by an emergency room doctor about my daughter.

She was in dance class when she fell and broke her arm. I don’t even know how I got to the class after that awful phone call. When I got there my daughter had a look of panic on her face. Her left arm looked like something out of a horror movie. It was apparent that it was broken pretty badly, yet my girl did not cry. As I frantically drove her to the ER I told her it was going to be OK and that it was alright to cry. “Mommy, crying about it won’t make it better”, was her response. Once at the hospital she started to really complain that it was unbearably painful but still no tears.

They took an x-ray of her arm and saw that it was broken in three places…..they had to reset it. That is when I almost fainted. I had to be strong for my baby. My husband got to the hospital just in time for them to do the reset without any sedatives. She went through the agony of her bones being reset. There was no screaming or crying. I guess I looked like I was going to faint so I was kicked out of the room. My husband had tears in his eyes as he recounted hearing our little ones bones cracking as the doctor was adjusting them. He couldn’t believe that she was not screaming in pain. Her little body shook and her eyes were almost going to the back of her head but she remained silent. The medical staff was coming into her room to meet the little brave girl. The doctor was speechless. He said “I’ve had adults screaming like babies during the procedure that your daughter had to endure.” Our amazing little girl.

The next day we took her to an orthopedic surgeon who put her in a cast and manipulated her bones again. This was the second time she had to deal with her little bones being reset and she remained strong. My daughter is just like my mother, going through pain without disturbing others. That doesn’t mean they don’t feel the immense pain. Just because they are strong does not negate their suffering. Their inner strength inspires me to find strength in parts of me that is weak.

I am inspired to enjoy life more, to fight the days when melancholy takes over. To be strong when my heart breaks because a beloved friend is fighting for her life, another battling depression and loss. I find strength to be a better mother, to be stronger when I lose my patience. To work harder to achieve my goal of helping others. To make a difference in the world. All because of my daughter and my mothers’ strength.

I hope you find someone who will inspire you to be stronger or be the one that can inspire someone else.

To my friends whom I love yet cannot name, I ask you to look at your children and the way they look up to you. You are their role model. Find strength in their love. Loving and respecting yourself is the best way for you to show them how they can do the same. You are the only mother they have and the only one they will ever want. Let them inspire you to live. I love you.

To my beautiful daughter, you inspire me every day of my life. You are so special and amazing. I am humbled to be your mom. Maybe someday I can be as strong as you.For now I will persevere and be the best mother that I can be. And to my mother, thank you for your strength and love and for always believing in me. You are my biggest inspiration. I love you.

The Art of Gratitude

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