Congratulations on this remarkable achievement! Your hard work has led you to the college of your dreams, and we couldn’t be prouder of you.
As you step into this exciting new chapter, remember that this journey is about so much more than just academics. It’s a unique opportunity for self-discovery — a precious four years to explore your passions and uncover the talents that make you uniquely you. Embrace this time as a canvas where you can paint your dreams and aspirations.
Above all, pursue what brings you joy and ignites your spirit, rather than just what seems profitable. True success is measured by your happiness and fulfillment. Embrace positive self-talk; remind yourself daily of your strengths and abilities. Surround yourself with uplifting thoughts and people who inspire you and make you feel good and valued.
We miss you dearly, and our greatest hope is for you to flourish and thrive during this beautiful phase of your life. Remember to savor the journey, don’t just focus on the finish line. Enjoy every step along the way!
Be bold, be curious, and most importantly, be your authentic self.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious you’re not alone. This is a time of unrest and uncertainty for most people in the world. No matter how you feel about the status of your life, wake up each day and be thankful that you are alive. Someone, somewhere else is fighting just to survive.
Look at life with a grateful heart and spend time with people who make you feel good. Make it a daily habit to sit still and meditate. Spend time by yourself and express your feelings in a journal. Do some sort of activity everyday to move your body. It can be yoga, dance, or just a walk around your neighborhood. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which triggers a positive feeling. You will learn to love it so much that you will rarely miss a workout. Life is all about ups and downs, this is a fact and it doesn’t get better, you get better. Pay attention to the words that you use both to yourself and to others.Let go of what you can’t control, work on your reactions, that is something you can control.
There’s something beautiful that happens to women in their 50s that nobody really talks about.
You stop performing. You stop shrinking. And somewhere between the life you planned and the one you actually lived, you find yourself — maybe for the first time.
That includes how you love your friends. And more importantly — how you allow them to love you back.
For years I gave endlessly, assuming that’s what love looked like. I remembered every birthday, every heartbreak, every small detail that mattered to the people I cared about. I showed up without being asked. I loved loudly and quietly and consistently.
What I didn’t realize was that I’d confused generosity with self-abandonment. I was so busy giving love that I never stopped to ask — am I receiving it too?
You deserve to be remembered. You deserve someone who checks in on you just because you crossed their mind. You deserve friends who celebrate your wins like they’re their own, who sit with you in your hard moments without rushing you through them, who love you on your ordinary days — not just when you’re needed.
That’s not asking too much. That’s the bare minimum of what real love looks like.
At some point, something in me gently shifted.
Not with resentment. With gratitude. Because every person who passed through my life taught me something I couldn’t have learned without them. They shaped me. They stretched me. And when their season ended, I let them go the way you exhale — softly, completely, at peace.
Growth means some things no longer fit. That’s not failure. That’s becoming.
When I was younger, losing a friendship could bring me to my knees. I grieved those losses the way you grieve a death — quietly, for years, wondering what I had done wrong. But something shifts in you over time. Now when a connection falls away, there’s less heartbreak and more clarity. A strange, unexpected gratitude for the space that’s been created. Not every person who leaves your life is a loss. Some departures are simply the universe tidying up what no longer belongs.
What changed most wasn’t who was around me. It was how I saw myself.
I stopped believing that love had to be earned through constant giving. I stopped making myself easy to be around at the expense of being honest about what I needed. I started understanding — deeply, in my bones — that I am someone worth investing in. Worth calling just to say hello. Worth showing up for, on an unremarkable Wednesday, for no reason other than I matter to someone.
The friendships I carry now are built on something real — mutual respect, genuine care, and the quiet confidence that we choose each other. Not out of habit. Not out of history. But because we see each other clearly and still want to show up.
These are the women who love me back. Fully. Without conditions. And receiving that love — really letting it in — has been its own kind of healing.
If you’re in this season, give yourself permission to want more.
More reciprocity. More warmth. More friendships where you feel as filled as you leave others feeling. You have spent so many years pouring love into the world — you are allowed to stand in the middle of it and let some of that love pour back into you.
You are worthy of it. Not someday. Not once you’ve done enough or given enough or become enough.
Right now, exactly as you are — you are worthy of being deeply, consistently, beautifully loved.
Don’t settle for anything less.
I stopped believing that love had to be earned through constant giving. I stopped making myself easy to be around at the expense of being honest about what I needed. I started understanding — deeply, in my bones — that I am someone worth investing in. Worth calling just to say hello. Worth showing up for, on an unremarkable Wednesday, for no reason other than I matter to someone.
And so do you.
The friendships I carry now are built on something real — mutual respect, genuine care, and the quiet confidence that we choose each other. Not out of habit. Not out of history. But because we see each other clearly and still want to show up. These are the women who love me back. Fully. Without conditions. And receiving that love — really letting it in — has been its own kind of healing.
If you’re in this season, give yourself permission to want more. More reciprocity. More warmth. More friendships where you feel as filled as you leave others feeling. You have spent so many years pouring love into the world — you are allowed to stand in the middle of it and let some of that love pour back into you. You are worthy of it. Not someday. Not once you’ve done enough or given enough or become enough. Right now, exactly as you are — you are worthy of being deeply, consistently, beautifully loved. It all starts with loving yourself. Don’t settle for anything less.
In life sometimes, if we are lucky, we come across individuals whose strength, determination, and selflessness leave an indelible mark on our hearts. My friend Liz was all that, sprinkled with extra sugar and spice! We met when we had just both become mothers for the first time, since then, we navigated life together in our new role as mothers and eventually, a bond of friendship, a sisterhood developed.
Our conversations ran deep, we spoke about everything and anything. We talked a lot about the people who mattered the most to us, our families , parents, siblings, spouses, children, and childhood best friends. We connected because we both knew the value of an authentic friendship. We always made time for one another and touched base once a week, even if it was just a quick call or text. We looked forward to spending time with one another, it almost always resulted in buckets of laughter, tears and lots of good food!
Liz had battled cancer twice before , when she found out that she had cancer again , she was resolved on beating it. “ I did it before, I can do it again! I can beat this! “ I believed that she could. She was amazing , her fight with cancer was quiet but it was fought valiantly, with her quiet reserve, her signature smile and with so much dignity and grace. She never allowed fear to consume her. Our friendship allowed her to share her fears with me and it allowed me to help get her back to faith or just let her cry. She sometimes needed a good cry, we both did, and then we would find something to laugh about! Liz made a conscious decision to embrace life fully, second by second, moment to moment. She was determined to be positive and her family served as the driving force behind her strength.
We lost Liz a month ago today, I miss her deeply.
Her loss was undoubtedly heartbreaking for all who loved her but her memory continues to inspire and uplift. In one of our last conversations, she asked me not to allow myself to wallow in sadness when she passes, but to enjoy every second of life and to keep an eye on her kids. That’s a promise I plan on keeping.
My view of life has been shifted because of my friend. Bit by bit, cancer took parts of her, what remained was her kindness, empathy, wit and her sweetness. She always expressed her gratitude and counted her blessings, she lived for her family. She cherished her friendships and paid attention to foster and nurture those relationships. Her children are amazing, a testament to her and her husband’s loving attention and dedication.
She would joke that dying young meant she would never have wrinkles and that she would be reunited with her mother, who had passed away from cancer only a few years earlier. She missed her lovely mom so much, and I know she was happy to have finally been reunited.
I want to honor her legacy by embracing life with the same passion, compassion, perseverance and determination.
In the end, my friend’s journey was not defined by her battle with cancer, but by her unwavering commitment to love, hope, and making the world a better place for her children. May her story continue to inspire us to be better, to connect, to give more, and to cherish each precious moment we have with those we love.
When I look at her children’s faces, I see her smile and her eyes.
Her absence will forever be felt but I will forever be grateful to have known her beautiful soul.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you amazing, selfless, strong mothers. You have the privilege to help shape and mold the next generation. Let them to be kind, compassionate, productive, loving human beings.
Mother’s Day was my absolute favorite holiday to spoil my mom.
In the past I’ve written her poems, painted a portrait for her, dedicated songs, expressed my love in heartfelt cards, flowers and gifts. She reveled in all the attention and love she received from her children and grandchildren. I loved seeing her happy. She was our best friend. She was the most magical beautiful soul. She left this world almost four and a half years ago, just four months after we lost our dad. I miss them both so immensely that the grief I feel no longer exists in the same space with my other emotions. Instead, it has carved out its own singular realm and like breathing—it is ever-present and subconscious.
My mother, a woman from a prominent family in Afghanistan was slight, but her frame belied her strength and resilience. She was the Matriarch of our family, a proud Afghan and woman of deep faith who always put her family first. She was a stylish, regal, worldly, educated, kind and a lifelong feminist. She was able to have conversations with world leaders and the guy next-door just as easily and as eloquently. She made everyone feel special and valued. She was always impeccable with both her manners, and the way she presented herself . She always dressed, wearing heels, jewelry and makeup, with a few spritzes of her signature perfume, Chanel No. 5.
On the first Mother’s Day after she died, I walked into an elevator in Nordstrom, a store we frequented together, to find an elegantly dressed older woman wearing my mom’s signature perfume. It made me flinch inside. As soon as the doors of the elevator slid open, I ran out, gulping mouthfuls of air and letting out a jagged cry. I just wanted my mother.
I’ve inherited some of my mom’s beautiful jewelry and have kept a few articles of her clothing. Every few months, I sit on the floor surrounded by her things and I carefully select a box to open. I choose just one, because I ration the sweet lingering perfume trapped inside them. I put my nose inside the container and take a long whiff before I quickly close it again. For a few minutes, I am dazed and shot full of adoration—and although my chest feels hollowed out, it is still too small to contain all my emotions.
Since their passing, I have felt as if a thick, warm coat that kept me insulated against the harshness of the outside world has been pulled off with one swift motion. I am exposed to life’s elements. Still, I am learning to wrap myself in every detail, smell, and color of those happy memories until the harshness relents just a little and I am warmed by the rich fragrance of Channel No. 5.
I miss you mom, I carry you within my heart always and I see you within your grandchildren .
I’ve come to the conclusion that everything that happens to us in life is a lesson. All the loss, the heartache, the betrayal, the boredom, the feeling of loneliness, the struggle to figure out your purpose, it comes along with being human. Just like there are times in life where things feel new and exciting. We experience many moments, perhaps even periods of happiness, of belonging and being around people who love and accept us for ourselves. And then unexpectedly, someone we love passes away, or a friend or family member disappoints us, sometimes it even breaks our heart. But we heal and hopefully we learn. If we don’t learn the first time, life takes us on a path of repeating the same mistakes over and over again until we do learn. Sometimes you don’t even notice that you are repeating the same negative patterns and when you finally do, it is like an awakening.
I’ve learned that no amount of tears will bring back a loved one that has passed away. The only thing we can do is to live our best life without them. We honor their memory in that way. They never really leave us, they are always in our hearts, but we do have to move on. Everyone has a different timeline for grieving and we have to also respect and accept that. Everyone has their own process and journey through the dark, empty hallways of grief.
I’ve learned that although I love my family, my friends and people in general, I don’t care to have disingenuous relationships.
“LIFE can only be understood backwards;
But it must be lived forwards.”
soren kierkegaard
I’ve learned to accept and love myself for who I am. I’ve learned that certain traditions that were the fabric of my family no longer serve me, but that there are others that will always be apart of me. I’ve learned that I have deep faith in a higher power and the ability to achieve anything I set my mind on. I’ve learned that sometimes things that hurt you the most teach you the greatest Life lessons.
Spend some time self-reflecting, what is it that you have learned during your most difficult times?
Today is the third anniversary of my mothers’ passing. My dad had passed away after battling cancer, just four months before. I know that witnessing my father being ravaged by cancer killed my mom little by little. Like me, she was an empath, a person who experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of taking on the pain of others at their own expense. I know that my mother died of a broken heart, but I also believe it was her time, nothing happens by accident. It’s all in the hands of a higher power, but it doesn’t make losing them any easier.
My mom and dad the year they died. 2017
Three years is a long time not to hear her voice, look into her beautiful eyes and not to feel her embrace. My mother had the ability to make me feel like I can overcome anything in life. She was always the wind beneath my wings, my supporter, my cheerleader, my protecter.. She was petite, only 5 feet in height, delicate, intelligent, worldly and a force of power. I know everyone thinks their mother is special but mine was one in a million. She had such an enormous heart and she loved with every fiber of her being. She could have a conversation with anyone and make them feel special, that is a gift not many people have. Although she is physically not here anymore, her love continues to live within each of her children and grandchildren. I feel her presence all the time, sometimes I can smell her perfume. She told me once that if there was a way to let me know she was ok when she passed, she would, and she has, many times.
That first year after she passed is a blur, I don’t recall anything at all, only bits and pieces of memories. I remember being at my father’s funeral, and his burial when he passed away, but I remember nothing of my mothers’ funeral nor her burial. I guess it’s because it was too much for me to endure, one parent dying after another, so I blocked it. I’m not sure I’ll ever remember, but that’s alright, it’s not something I really want to recall. I do remember being so worried about my little brother, he had such a tight bond with our mother. He is a decade younger than my sister and I, so he feels more like our baby. I think I survived her passing because I was on heightened alert, worried about him and the rest of my siblings and our kids, the grandchildren.
I now know that we have no control over what happens in life, we just have control over how we react. Unfortunately, death is a part of life, today is all that we have. There are times that I find myself driving towards my parents’ house, passing by, slowing down, looking into the kitchen window, searching for my mother. I used to drop my daughter off at school and then walk to my parents’ house, they had moved just minutes from me. My mom and I got into the habit of having coffee together most mornings. I can imagine her making coffee, waiting for me. Then I realize that was the past, they are gone and I head home with my heart literally feeling like it is in pieces.
My mother was magic, pure love a positive person. “You can do it love, you can do whatever you set your mind on, nothing is too big for God.” She was kind, lovely, eloquent and really beautiful. She was always put together, her clothes, make-up and jewelry always on point. She was regal, with the softest most beautiful olive skin. It was like silk to the touch and she always smelled amazing. She was devoted to her family, her faith, and proud of her Afghan heritage and culture that is filled with hospitality and family. She taught us to love it too. She taught us by her actions on how to take the higher road in life. She would say, you come from greatness, it’s important that you retain your manners and your dignity.
Mom with her sister.
She had the ability to love and be loved like no one else I have ever met. My mother is gone, life does indeed go on. Yet never in the same capacity it once did. What I have struggled to articulate to those around me is the difference between coping and moving on. Grief will always be a part of me now, sometimes I feel nothing and other times I feel EVERYTHING. Coping means I get through each day and I smile, I laugh, I enjoy myself, but there will always be a nagging thought in the back of my mind, she isn’t here anymore, and I want to share this moment with her.
My grief is not your grief. Please don’t tell me how to grieve. For someone who has a lost a loved one, grief isn’t just sadness about them being gone. It’s a whole mountain, with each rock on the path being a new experience without them. It’s an ocean, each wave crashing with a new emotion. It’s waking up and putting one foot in front of another each day in order to face the loss head-on.
“You care so much, you feel as though you will bleed to death from the pain of it.”
J.K. Rowling
There are days I physically and mentally cannot get out of bed because I don’t have the energy or the willpower because my grief is so painful and overwhelming. Days I am irritated and sad about everything, angry I don’t get my mother in my life anymore.
So many of us have lost loved ones this year, many are dealing with this unbearable pain. If you know someone who is struggling, let them know that you are there for them. I can’t stress enough how lonely grief feels, and when you are in the deepest, darkest waters of grief, you are unable to ask for help. If you know someone who is in grief, send a text, make a call, just let them know that you are there for them. My husband, daughter, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles share my grief, they understand my pain. Without them, I would be pretty lost trying to navigate the oceans of grief. Unfortunately, I have friends who have lost parents, they are the ones I lean on, sometimes we cry together, other times they help me forget the pain for just a few hours. It’s a nice reprieve.
Unfortunately, grief has no time limit. There’s no easy button. And there’s no way to fast-forward through the individual feelings you have to work out. I’m not sure that grief gets easier with time, but it does change.
If anyone tried to put you on a timeline in dealing with your grief, they’ve most likely never been through it themselves. Everyone grieves differently, and needs to be allowed to do so. You have to do what works best for you.
Grief is different for everyone, but it’s a shared human experience.
Growing up we celebrated Thanksgiving at my uncle’s house. That was probably the only day that my Afghan-American family would actually make turkey with all its fixings and “Afghan Food” on the side, for those of us who didn’t really want or like turkey.
Between our families, relatives and friends, we were easily a group of 20 or 25 people. It was loud, fun and filled with love. Life changed, as the years went by, my uncle passed away and I took on hosting Thanksgiving. My parents always enjoyed being at my house and praised my husband for his cooking. We were a smaller group, but we were grateful for one another. Three years ago, my parents both passed away, and for me Thanksgiving, became difficult. I started going away for the holiday, avoiding their absence.
This Thanksgiving is a very different kind of holiday for all Americans, as the covid-19 virus surges and public health and government officials are calling on us to resist gatherings. More than 250,000 lives have been lost, with a thousand more lost daily because of the virus. For those families, who may not have even gathered to mourn their loved one, there will be no Thanksgiving gathering. I think that we are all grieving what the virus has done to our lives. Yet still, despite everything that life throws at us there is still plenty of reasons to be thankful.
I’m grateful for the food, shelter, and that a vaccine that is on the way. I’m grateful for all the people that I have in my life. My family and my friends, that connection is everything to me. We will get through this together. Life will return to a new kind of normal and this will one day be a memory. There is a silver lining, crisis brings out the best in people. It reminds us why it’s important to celebrate every day and share our love with family, neighbors, and friends. It reminds us of how lucky we are and how important it is to take care of ourselves, our communities, and our planet.
Our experiences influence the trajectory of our lives. The parents we have, the friends we make, and the thoughts we have about ourselves and about others. Sometimes we keep repeating the same patterns in life. You may have friendships that end up hurting you over and over again, relationships that end up with the same negative results. If you step back and notice that you are going through the same type of pattern in life, making the same decisions and ending up making the same mistakes, ask yourself what it is that you are supposed to learn?
Until you learn the lesson you are meant to learn, you will continue to be on the same exact same path. One of the things that we need to have in order to be happy and whole is self-love. You need to know that you are worthy of a good life, that includes a comfortable home, great relationships, friends who are there for you. You deserve to do something in life that motivates you and gives you a purpose.
One of the best ways to work on self-love is to pay attention to your thoughts. What you tell yourself is far more impactful in your life than anything else. I recently was listening to a podcast, the host said something that really made me stop and pay attention. He said, “what your mind repeats is what your mind believes”. So, when you keep repeating negative thoughts about yourself you start to believe it. Only you can be the change you want to see and that starts by paying attention to your self-talk.
In this time of fear and
uncertainty, I want to express my gratitude. I’m grateful that I live in a safe
country, in a comfortable home, with plenty of food in my fridge and pantry. I’m
grateful that my family and I are healthy and that we have access to good
doctors and hospitals. There are people all over the world, and right here in
the United States without many of these benefits. Right now, we are all in fear
of this pandemic, and fear spreads faster and wider than any virus. Fear will
cause anxiety, which will cause stress and that will cause you harm in the end.
All we can do is be vigilant and do what experts say, keep your distance from
others. Stay home and be grateful.
During this time, we get to enjoy the company of our families. We need to be present and calm. Our uncertainty and fear overflows to our children, for them and for ourselves we need to focus on the good and practice gratitude. Take advantage of this time and teach your children to meditate, practice mindfulness, get organized, learn to cook, sketch, or just read a book or two. Take a walk as a family, watch movies together, take an online course and have virtual discussions with friends and family.
We are lucky enough to have the ability to see and communicate with one another. It can be reassuring to be together virtually. Recently I saw a birthday video that was created for a close friend of mine. It was messages from her loved ones about what an amazingly positive source of love she is to them. How wonderful that they were able to extend their love and celebrate her birthday virtually.
Don’t listen to people who believe it’s the end of the world. Choose to see the positive in your situation. Do whatever you can to feel in control of the situation, like frequent hand-washing. Boost your immune system with healthy habits and activities, such as regular exercise. Stock up on food just in case the authorities order you to stay indoors for a while. That’s all you can do. You can choose to see the glass half empty or half full. Your choice. Be safe and grateful. Thank you for reading my perspective.
