Style & Serenity

A Magical Time

December 24th, 2015

Childhood is a fleeting time. I never realized just how quickly it goes until I had my own child. It feels like yesterday when we celebrated our little girls first birthday and now in just a few months she will be ten. My time as a child feels so far away and yet I have such amazing memories. Now that I am a mother seeing my own child growing before my eyes is so surreal. I want to create amazing memories for her so that she can look back in time with fondness.

Holidays, birthdays, family weddings and new babies in the family are all really special occasions . I want my daughter to remember all these significant occasions so I take a lot of pictures. I want to document every special moment for her.

Every year I see a huge difference in her. She is taller, more mature looking and she is really growing emotionally too. She is becoming more self-aware. Year after year I watch as she understands more, becomes more a part of this world. I wish I could bottle up that amazing feeling of being able to do anything when we are children.

Along with great memories of family, I have wonderful memories of friends. Friendships growing up were so important to me. They have literally saved me from many gloomy and sad days. I am so thankful to have had every single friend in my life…even those whom are no longer a part of my life. They helped me endure all the ups and downs of growing up. I know my little girl’s friendships are precious to her as well.

I always try to keep the magic alive for her and her friends during the holidays. Although we are not Christians, we definitely believe in giving and we believe in Santa Clause! We try to do simple yet wonderful things together with friends and family.

We indulge in creating beautiful memories. We spend time with the people we love. I try to instill in her what my parents instilled in me. I want her to open her heart to her family and friends. I want her to know what it is to be compassionate, to be thankful and enjoy the simple joys of life. I want her to know how special she is and I want her to have self-love as well as love in her heart for others. It’s a time of giving so she will certainly get a few presents from Santa…but I already see that what matters to her is that connection we all need with one another. She is also a little girl who has compassion for others and wants to give her own money and time to help others.

Here is a painting my daughter created…honoring her favorite magical friend.

I hope this season is a magical one for you and your family. Wishing you peace and love.

Missing your loved ones during the holidays

December 16th, 2015

The holidays are a time of family gatherings, traditions, gifts and spirituality. It’s a magical time for children and adults alike. It’s also a time many of us miss our loved ones who are no longer with us. After someone important dies the holidays are often never the same again.

Traditions, events, parties, songs, movies.. the grief triggers are everywhere. Many cope with their loss by avoiding conversation about their loved ones or just being in denial. Here are some ways of coping with loss during this time.

My loved ones are always in my heart. I miss them even more when we have celebrations. Their absence is deafening. Keeping our loved one’s memory alive helps us cope. You can continue to make them a part of your holiday season.

Here some ways to remember loved ones during the holidays:

1. Photos: Leave old photo albums around, or make an album featuring your loved one. Before you know it you’ll be reminiscing and telling stories with family and friends.

2. Get out the old home videos. Yes it can be emotional and painful, but it also might be comforting to see your loved one up on the TV screen.

3. Wrap up a few of your loved one’s old things and give them to family and friends who will appreciate them. Write a card letting them know why you chose to give them this particular item. They will love the gift and the sentiment.

4. You can create a special place for people to write down memories. Put out a marker and paper or plain wooden ornaments. Friends and family can hang the ornaments or leave the memories in an empty gift box. When everyone is gathered together, read the memories aloud.

5. Donate to a cause in your loved ones name. Try and choose a charity your loved one would have supported.

6. When you see a gift your loved one would have liked, go ahead and buy it. Donate it to a charity or give it to someone as gift.

7. Volunteer your time to others in need. You might choose a cause your loved one worked with or supported.

8. Light a candle in honor of your loved one. Leave it burning during days when you think you’ll miss them the most.

9. Invite your family and friends to a holiday potluck. Ask guests to make a dish that your loved one liked.

10. Buy or make a memorial ornament.

11. Use your loved one’s old recipe(s) to make holiday cookies or a holiday dinner.

12. Visit or spend time in a place where you feel close to your loved one. You could also spend time watching their favorite holiday movies or listening to their favorite holiday songs.

13. Take the trip you have been planning or dreaming about.

14. Give a framed photo of your loved one to people who also miss them.

15. Spend time talking about your loved one with family and friends. Express your feelings…cry if you need to.

16. Take care of yourself. Attend a workshop or support group for people dealing with a loss during the holidays. Remember that your loved one would have wanted you to have the support you need.

Unfortunately I’ve lost a lot of loved ones…family and friends. I think about them often. I’m always grateful that I believe in the hereafter and that someday I will reunite with my loved ones. For now, I choose to keep their memories alive and enjoy the loved ones who are here. I choose not to take them for granted and do my best to be present with them.

I wish you all peace and love during this wonderful season.

The Art of Gratitude

November 27th, 2015

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. It’s a great time to really focus on being with family and counting our blessings. Being thankful has become a daily practice for me and has lifted my life in so many ways.

I woke up the morning of thanksgiving feeling grateful for the people in my life. I felt the need to reach out and send messages to friends who bring love and happiness into my life. I wanted them to know just how much they mean to me. I tend to do this often because I think it’s important to tell the ones we love how we feel about them. I then started cleaning my house, preparing for our thanksgiving feast. My husband always does the cooking. This year my 9-year-old prepared dessert all by herself. Her Chocolate lava cakes were delicious. Again, I felt thankful to have such a great human being as my husband and such a wonderful daughter. I also felt thankful to have my parents, my aunt, one of my siblings and my cousin come by to share our thanksgiving meal. I thought about my loved ones who are no longer in this world. I thanked God for the ones who are still with me. I choose to focus on what or who I have.

I choose to live a life of gratitude. That means I want to experience life to the fullest. I’ve learned that it’s important to live my life being grateful for what I have. It’s a choice I make which in turn brings me to a place of peacefulness and happiness.

So how do I do it? It’s not easy but it’s pretty straight forward.

I take part in activities that bring me joy.
I read inspirational articles and sit in contemplation every day.
I spend time with people I love who want to spend time with me.
I stay away from negative people. They bring me down and spread negative energy.
I just focus on what I have, not what I don’t have..

Being thankful for what you have is one of the simplest and easiest ways to lift your mood. To give your motivation a jolt and to live a happier life. No matter who you are, where you live in the world or if today is Thanksgiving or just a Thursday in your life. Ask yourself these two questions..

What are 3 things I can be thankful for in my life today?
Who are 3 people I can be thankful to have in my life and why?

If you don’t come up with 3 people and 3 things each day then that is OK. One thing or person is great too. But if you can, try to not repeat yourself too often. Instead, think of more people and things to be grateful for, day by day, expand your thankful view of your world.

Express your thankfulness to the people who matter to you. This will make their lives happier. And as their faces light up with a smile you’ll feel happier too. Look towards yourself too. You are important and valuable, appreciate that. Ask yourself what are 3 things I can be thankful for about myself? It could be that you were a good friend and impacted someone else’s life. You helped bring a smile to your mother’s face or gave a much-needed hug to your sister.

Be thankful for the things you may take for granted. Like a roof over your head and a warm home. The fact that you don’t have to go hungry. And that you have loving family members and wonderful friends. Start or end your day with thankfulness. Make it a habit that sticks, find a regular time for it in your day.

For me, writing down what I am grateful day each day helps me continue to be thankful. It just takes a small commitment to see the positive impact on your life.

I’m thankful that you have spent time reading my blog. I hope it helps you become more grateful for all that you have.

How to get yourself out of a funk

November 15th, 2015

We all have times when we get into a funk and feel sad. Now that the weather has changed I already feel a change in my mood. It’s a bit chilly but that doesn’t really bother me. What really gets me is how quickly it becomes dark. For the past fifteen years I’ve had an issue with getting enough sleep. It started when I was working the morning shift at News 12. I was unable to sleep until about 10 or 11 pm and I had to be at work by 3am which meant I had to wake up at 2am! This gave me about two or three hours to sleep.

After ending a decade of working the morning shift I still have trouble getting enough sleep. I fall asleep at around 2am and wake up exhausted at 7. Five hours of sleep has really affected me and I realize that this has to change. That’s one way that I can help myself feel more healthy both physically and mentally. Yet, it continues to be an uphill battle.

To feel emotionally well we have to balance everything in life. Here are some things that help me.

Get at least 8 hours of sleep (I’m working on this.)
Eat more nutritiously, eliminate all processed foods and sugar.
Make time to focus on yourself, read, spend time alone doing something you enjoy.
Acknowledge negative emotions but then release them.
Journal every day. The idea is that you write freehand first thing in the morning every day for about 20 minutes. It doesn’t matter what you write, just put down whatever comes to your mind. This has an incredibly clarifying and freeing effect.
Create something. Using the artistic/ intuitive parts of your brain can help you bring an understanding to the parts of your life that you can’t logically understand.
Spend your energy in a positive way. Work on a project you’ve been meaning to finish, clean out your closet. Getting rid of clutter can help you shift your own energy
Try getting a massage every month or as much as you can. It can be extremely helpful as you navigate life changes and difficult situations. Releasing tensions in your body helps in also letting go of tensions and anxieties in your mind.
Learn to meditate. It’s an amazing mind-body exercise to help you release stress and restore internal balance.
Give to others. When you begin to feel sorry for yourself, make a point of doing something kind for someone else. This will take your mind off of your own issues and open the world up to you just a bit.
Keep a gratitude journal, it can rewire your brain for happiness when you focus on what you have to be grateful about.
Get outside for some fresh air and a walk in nature. This really helps bring you closer to your source.
Play, yes I said play. Take time to just have fun with your children, do cartwheels, or watch funny movies. Laugh, do whatever activity that makes you happy.

Having periods of happiness and unhappiness is a part of life. Know that it’s normal and everyone goes through it at some point. Know that it’s a normal part of life. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s important to have times of reflection to make the changes you need to progress in life. Give yourself plenty of grace, and reach out and ask for help when you need it. Don’t just suffer in silence, do something to help yourself out of the funk. If you find yourself feeling down for long periods of time it’s a good idea to reach out to a professional for help.

I hope these tips help you keep your life happy and balanced. How do you keep the blues at bay in your life? Please don’t hesitate to share.